| "Only in Delhi, NY can you find two Gia's
pregnant at the same time"
Bill
"I missed an MSNBC interview just to see your show."
Mayor of Montpelier,
Vermont's State Capitol.
"Triple A? I have 5A. When I call, they send out a tow truck and an alcoholic."
K. Caw
"So, what time do you pass out?"
Charlie, trying to correlate his sleep schedule with a very intoxicated fan.
"I'm going to go home and touch myself."
Jenni M.'s way of complimenting the music.
"I hate these horny male dumbasses that have now taken the liberty to call their d-cks 'sausages'"
Reply sent in by Kari H. from some guy in a chat room. Wow!! And the band resents asexual
cybersurfers that refer to all penises as Richard! Freud said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Big Boss says, "Sometimes a Sausage is just a Sausage...and this guy's just a weenie."
"Where's that comedian who played with the band last time?"
Fellow who thought
poet Nik Gruswitz was a comedian. Poetry, Comedy...they both end in 'Y'. How
different can they be?
"I'm your designated flirt."
Just when the band thought they couldn't fill the 'designated flirt' position, this girl comes to a show!! What luck.
"Weird name, but you're alright."
Becca from Oneonta
"We'll plow you out and leave you a six-pack."
Durkin's Snow Removal. Do they
do this for every customer?
"You're chat room is the loneliest place on earth. You sure it's not a meditation chamber?"
Anonymous Fan. Imagine if they went on Wednesday Night!
"I think Mingo and Conan O’Brien are the same person....……have you ever seen them together?"
Chris N. -sausage loving vegetarian.
"Do you build floats professionally?"
Check-out lady at party store, when the band was loading up on Saranac Lake Winter Carnival decorations.
"Your hair is just wrong on so many different levels."
Mingo's Ex, hairstylist to the stars.
"I can't believe I fried the Kreuger!"
Bass player, who's equipment actually caught fire during a Big Boss Sausage audition.
"You guys give me the warmest feeling in my tummy."
Caroline P.
"You may have seen the Sausage, but have you pulled the pork?"
Uncle Bob,
Bass player for...Pulled Pork.
"Whenever you are in Florida, I will play the
tamborine."
Vera, the self-proclaimed 'sexiest person alive'.
"You're a dumbass. I'm a dumbass. But I'm smart enough of a dumbass to know that other
dumbasses will pay for this crap."
Russ, explaining the CD's viable place in the world of music distribution.
"Oh, I'm not saying you're not terrible; I'm just saying you're terrible in a really terrific way."
Fan, complimenting the band, after Dimitri said, "when we first started, we were terrible."
"The first time I ever got drunk was listening to you guys."
Tim G.
"The only guy I know quicker on the uptake than Mingo is Conan O'Brien -- God,
can you imagine those two on the same show?"
-- I, Claudius, guest harmonica-ist
and patron saint of local bands, laughing his way through an Acoustic Sausage set.
"The word has been spread at Miami Southridge Senior High. Long Live Big Boss Sausage!!!!!"
CS (the poet)
"I think I got a callous on my masturbation hand."
Johnny Luggage, after a riveting Conga Bongo solo at a Laughin Luggage Show.
"You're definitely the best small band I've ever seen, and a hell of a lot better than most of the big bands out there."
Greg Forsman
"I don't have a mailing address, but I enjoyed the F%*K out of your show."
Anonymous signature left on the band's mailing list one night.
"Can't afford dat stuff. Send biscuits!"
Smokey's signature left on the band's e-mail list the same night.
"What are they playing...the Chitlen Circuit?"
One of Kool's Gang when Casey "Funboy" told 'Kool and the Gang' he was going on the road to play a few shows with Big Boss Sausage.
"Lester, this isn't going to be another Saab story, is it?"
Mingo, on a long
road trip.
"Boone...it tastes like Chicken."
Jennifer 'Gypsy'; winner of the Boone, NC
bumper-sticker slogan contest
"You don't realize what a great week this has been in my
life; and your band has been the perfect way to end it!"
Tina A. Portsmouth, NH
"Freebird used to be my favorite song, and your
brother ruined it!" Man offended by Dimitri's singing
style. Dimitri's Reply? "Wait 'til he hears me sing Wackin'
off in a Tree Stand again!"
"Blarf?erhg*tviu/o/qv#3RP.COM" What was heard when
a patron asked to use the mic for a second. After this riveting
'speech', he took two steps back, held his fist up high, and
started projectile vomiting on the side of the stage.
"I've
only asked for two autographs in my life; one from the guy in
'Extreme', and one from some guy I can't remember. So when I say
your band is going to make it, you're going to make it!!"
Bob's (very cool fan) prop to the band.
"I found a bone in my French Toast." Billy Dank at an I-81 Restaurant
"I've
been to hundreds of concerts in my life...and I will remember
this show more than any of the last 100!" Dave, Boone,
NC
"In
the Parade? They ARE the Parade!" John P. of Leo's
Campground in Key West, Florida when an incoming camper asked if
the band was in Fantasy Fest.
"You
should try out for Jackass!" Comment to Bill, when in 9
seconds flat, he stole someone's bike, cut off a motor scooter,
and injured his thumb in an over-the-handlebars faceplant.
"Come back to Jersey...and I'll make you my pride" Dank Hanglow's drunken attempt to tell a Southern Belle she could be his Bride.
"I'm with Big Boss Sausage!" Hank the Road Dog's first words, when asked by a a New York State Trooper, for his license and registration. As if the band had pull!?!
"Bill, watch out for that ceiling fan!"
Last words heard as Dankster climbed into the top bunk of Dave Perotti's hunting lodge, and earned the painful nickname 'Fan-stopper 2000'.
"You guys are good enough to play here again; and I'm not just saying that because
I have a drinking problem." Supportive fella in Oneonta, NY who must have enjoyed the show.
"I saw smoke coming out!"
Joshua, 7 year-old fan, amazed at the band's new smoke machine, set up underneath the drummer.
"You guys are a cross between St. Catherine St. Jug Band and something else."
Bar Patron (what scares the band is the 'something else')
"Nice to meet ya...hope your husband doesn't beat ya"
Interesting farewell overheard leaving a party one night.
"There's apparantly some sort of joke going on here. I just don't get it."
Fan observing the band's stage decorations before a show.
"I will give you $100 right now to play the 17 minute-version of Freebird"
Very rich fan, after the bartender said 'even a short song would be cutting it close.'
"Funboy, don't eat too many Blueberries; you'll get Sourbelly"
Mingo before a very
long road trip.
"Sexy Men"
The staff at Quick Mart (Middletown, NY) watching 4 hairballs roll
out of the van Sunday morning, after driving all night from a show.
"How come you guys have CD's and you're not millionaires?"
Matt G. (7 yr. old
fan who can easily tell by our stage decorations that we haven't quite reached the next
tax bracket)
"I'm really glad we didn't have an earthquake while you were here.
I would have been very embarrassed."
Talishia, Ausable Forks, NY
"Is that their last name? Willkom? I saw it on the door mat!"
Souper-Sleuth Soupy after the first time he saw something written
in a foreign language (at an Adirondack Lake House)
"You could move a lot more merchandise if I was selling stuff for
you. Look at your manager over there. He only cares about beer and women."
John, local fan, questioning Soupy's work ethics.
"I'm in the hole!"
Christian's 4a.m. cell-phone call to a friend while he was buried in the back of the van behind a wall of
equipment. We picked up the lad after his friend left him at the
bar.
"I don't even like bands...and this band is the greatest!!"
Christain's 'prop' to the local convenience store cashier.
"I'm almost certain it's a surface clog."
Soupy Delhi, NY
"You'll have to go inside. Your music woke up an entire family!"
Campus Police in
Virginia. We're still trying to find out what kind of college
enrolls a whole family.
"They are Great at
what they do...I just can't figure out what the hell they are
doing." Steve Becker
"These are cool shirts." Uma Thurmon
"Oh my goodness." Steve Gorman, Drummer for
the Black Crowes after seeing a picture of Big Boss.
"When you hit that note, it makes my nipples
hard." Lisa Excellent
"For years now I've been trying to locate a smaller,
tender cooking sausage. I thought you might know where to
look." Severely confused chef who had just checked out
our website
"I'd like to order that Big Boss Sausage breakfast
special I saw on the flyer in the window."
Hungry man in a Catskills restaurant
"You're lucky you're so big...or you'd get your asses
kicked."
Encouraging remark from fan years ago
"I think your music is upsetting the Llama." Sheila
Gloonsdoggle, at a Bring-your-own-pet petting zoo
"I really like your tie-dye shirts! Do you sell them
without the band name?"
Somewhat sober sorority pledge (Worcester, MA)
"Big Boss Sausage. Is that a franchise?" Pennsylvanian
"Yo! You got the Sausage in there." Two
undercover NYC police women after seeing stickers on back of our
van
"That's why these guys never made it; they're
flaky." irate local ex-fan, overheard at a Little Miss
Beauty Pageant "Listen. I heard these guys are world
famous." excited local bar patron, overheard just three
hours later.
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